


Don't Kid Yourself, Sanity's Just an Illusion

by Fragile_Control



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blue US-sans, Classic UT-sans, Fell UF-Papyrus, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, P.T.S.D., Red UF-sans, Underfell, depends on the person, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10710279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fragile_Control/pseuds/Fragile_Control
Summary: sequel to Sanity's a Funny Thing... as requested





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is majority of what i have so far, between work n life in general we're lucky there's this much -.-  
> its not that there's no inspiration, in fact there's plenty of it, my mind and imagination have proven themselves to be my worst enemies time and time again but there's just no time  
> i will continue to try thou, its what I'm good at

Fell stared at the place the others disappeared from, not really thinking, just allowing everything to sink in; He knew what needed to be done but if he remained in this universe while the human loaded, his own memories would be erased along with all the evidence of what his brother had done, and none of this would make sense. 

The child's soul drifted in front of his face, his own large hands rise to hold the fragile thing. “I will be back in ten minutes, when I return I expect our world and my brother to be back, I will handle Sans.” The heart bobbed up and down in it's own confirmation before backing away.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overwhelming darkness… never ending, not unlike the few timelines the kid accidentally dusted him but this was definitely not the same, it felt as though this emptiness had swallowed him whole; He could not see, could not touch, not even smell or hear and even if he could summon a tongue right now he doubted he’d be able to taste anything either. No he was just, being… nothing made any sense, But it didn’t need to, wasn’t there something he needed to do or someone he needed to see, No...it does not matter anymore, 'm not saposda be alone, where is everyone, You are alone.. You were never meant to have anyone.

Suddenly a heavy weight settled on him… wait, he could feel warmth surrounding his being, he could smell something crisp and clean but damp, his body twitched… body? But his soul shattered, didn’t it? Eye sockets snapped open, panic immediately erupted in his bones, arms and legs flailing trying to brace against anything solid he could use to ground himself with. Clawed fingers gripped harshly against the rim of the almost bowl like structure he was laying in, water splashed as his feet made contact with the other end of the bowl.

The panic slowly ebbed away and he became more and more aware of his surroundings; Four off-white walls, a sink with a cabinet below and a broken mirror above, a soft yellowish light on the ceiling, cracked tiling made up the floor. He was in the bathroom, specifically the bath.

Allowing his arms and legs relax back into the warm water of the bath he let out a sigh, a strong sense of deja vu biting at the back of his skull, “Fuck” what the hell was he even doing… he was having a little difficulty remembering.  
Clearly he was back in his home universe, Blue would never allow their bathroom to be kept in such an unkempt state, But why was he here?

Sharp fangs set in a frown, thinking hard ‘let’s see here… hmm, oh yeah, came here to settle the score with the kiddo, got all the way to Hotland before gettn pulled into a fight, dumbass valkin got what was come’n to em.’ Red leaned forward and drained the tub, standing up and pulling a tattered towel off a nearby lopsided hook and patted himself dry; It wasn’t that his brother hadn't tried to keep the once shared home in good condition, just that it was hard to come by materials in this Underground.

Wrapping the towel around his waist he strolled over to the mirror, glancing over his image to make sure no random dust splotches remained stuck to his bones. A soft purple glow nestled in his ribcage caught his attention, “What the..” he cocked his head to the side, making it a little easier to see between the bones, his sockets widened. 

There in his chest cavity hovered a soul, one less than half the size of his own, the small one emitting a light purple color. Summoning his own soul into his cupped hands the small one following, seeming to be tethered to his own by translucent crimson threads of magic, the pure disbelief almost funny. “ ‘m… a d-dad…. HOLY FUCK'N SHIT I'M A FATHER!” he said out loud with a wide smile before it quickly dropped. ‘Oh shit 'm in Underfell… n I only have 1 hp, with a souling attached to me… w-what if something happens?, g-gotta get home and tell Sans n Blue… but what if i'm attacked before i reach the shed, w-what if-’

Red’s quickly panicking mind was brought to an abrupt halt as a door in the house was slammed shut and a familiar loud voice yelled at the top of his non-existing lungs. “Sans! Where the fuck are you!?”

Reds form relaxed at the shouting, in the past it would have terrified him but it's been years since his brother played any part in harming him, besides at least now he wasn’t alone. Willing the souls back where they belong he cracked the door enough to yell down to the other. “ 'm in the bathroom Boss!, Be down in a sec.”

Immediately there was loud stomping as his brother quickly scaled the stairs,(probably taking them two at a time) Red didn’t even have a chance to close the damn thing before Fell forced it completely open, ripping it from his brothers hand in the process. Red shook his fingers trying to force the small amount of pain he received away, looking up at papyrus as the other seemed focused on trying to intimidate him by looming over the sans. “What the fuck Boss? Why’d ya do that!”

Fell ignored his brother’s words in favor of staring down at the shorter, taking in his confused expression, and flatly pointing out “You don’t remember.”

Red tried to pull away only to press his back fully against the sink’s cabinet, he needed to put some space between them. “R-remember what Boss?” hands clenching at his sides due to their sudden close proximity.

Fell leaned in closer, face to face, barely a few inches apart from his brother, searching his expressions before letting his own crimson eye lights drop down the badly scarred bone to where he knew the red soul to be. “Good the little one survived the time jump.” he allowed himself a soft sigh. “I did not dare to believe it would have, though this should help make you're soon to be made apology to your mates a little easilier accepted.”

Reds jaw dropped, barely understanding any of his brothers words. “W-what?” his hands covered the souls subconsciously as he ducked closer to floor, instincts to attempt to make himself a smaller target kicked in, a similar flash of color almost as if he was watching a movie of his brother leaning in close with an evil looking smirk… Red knew that look, it was a promise, a promise of horribly painful torture if he’d answer Fells questions with anything other than what he wanted to hear… but wait, he had just happy?, and confused a minute ago, right? Reds mind fought to stay focused as twisted memories of the bad old days overlapped his walking world and it becoming increasingly more difficult than usual to keep calm. That way Fell was looking at him, a constant reminder that he was only good for free exp.

Fell watched as Red’s sockets widened, those white eye lights shrinking to pinpricks before fully disappearing, but it was only when that curled up form began to shake violently did he realize his mistake. Letting out a barely audible sigh, knowing full if Red were to hear any agitation in his voice for forcing him to put up with these episodes he’d go through, it could send his brother into a full on panic attack flashback where he could (and more than likely would) lash out violently, but none prior to their last big spat were ever that bad; in fact Fell could barely form any sort of understanding on what may have triggered the last one, he would get his answers eventually, buy for now he had to comfort his brother’s anxiety attack.

Carefully and slowly, Fell knelt on the tile, reaching out with both is hands and scooping the smaller up under those bare arms, Red immediately went limp in the hold, body shaking little by little. Fell brought his brother closer, bringing him in for a careful but simple hug, (just like the other sans’ taught him) and gently rubbed small circles across his spine and ribs with one hand, with the other he was almost cradling the small body. Soft words of safety, happy thoughts, and encouragement bouncing off the walls surrounding them.

Though this currently being the best method in calming his brothers troubled mind, and Fell would absolutely deny it, but the movements he made was relaxing his own body as well, for not the first time he wondered how either of them were still so functionable without this kind of attention they so obviously craved.

Somewhere in Red’s trapped mind the soothing was taking effect, recognizing the motions and words as non-threatening and thus not being part of the recurring nightmarish memories that were even now still trying to tear him down the path of self hatred and harm.

Fell huffed in slight irritation, this always took so long, it was so hard to bring his brother back… though the process was easier to handle than simply ignoring the small skele; That haunted look he would display spoke of thousands of horrors the other had to endure; yeah this was definitely the better option. Fell was surprised however, when he felt those smaller clawed fingers grab at the fabric under his armor, the process usually took longer before Red would even be able to move, at least in non jerky motion; He tightened the hug momentarily, reminding Red that yes he really was there for him, then slowly pulled back sitting more on his heals now than his knees, and he examined the older’s face watching as the dim eye lights slowly brighten till they were once again a solid white. Fell paused a moment longer not wanting the other to relax back into that unresponsive state.

Clear recognition etched across Reds features as he took in the sight of his brother holding him… in the bathroom… while he was naked? “W-Wha…?”

Fell found the expression to be comical but he refused to laugh, once again reminding himself that now was not the time. “Are you ok now?”

Red nodded though still confused… wasn’t Papyrus saying something before he blanked out? Something about his mates and… Oh yeah! There was a small souling in his ribcage! But how did Fell know about it before he even said anyth-!!

Fell watched with widened sockets as his brothers hands quickly left him just to grab onto his own cracked skull harshly, sockets clenched tightly shut, head shaking back and forth. Red tears flowed down his mandible as the memories of what happened, of everything he had said and done bombarded his mind unrelentingly as he unconsciously muttered the word ‘no’ over and over again, a mantra of disbelief.

Fell couldn’t bring himself to comfort his brother for his despicable behavior that ended the older’s life before the last load; Granted the other Sans’ shouldn’t have gotten involved and the matter would have eventually resolved itself, fuck all three of them could have avoided the pain they were now going through, if they would have just left after Fell himself had arrived; He knew though, even if it would have been the optimal decision they wouldn’t have left Red behind, not with how broken his mind really was, and their (to him barely understandable) need to fix his brother steeling their resolve; Now however, they all had to live with the hasty decisions that were made out of that love and care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look im sorry it took so long to update this, and to those who enjoy this story i must apologize because i will not be continuing it, as funny as i find it, its also prity damn pathetic lol i got triggered into several bad instances while creating this chapter, my mental state is not acceptable for anyone to survive with but it doesn't matter all that much. hope you enjoy the chapter. also if anyone would wish to adopt this story be my guests, i'll continue writing other stories just not this one...sorry

“No…”  How could he let those fuckn voices influence him so much that he lost control; He’d been doing so well for so long… why, why did he have to have these stupid problems, why couldn’t he be like most other sans’ with the occasional nightmares (the sleeping kind) of a possessed human child killing everyone the skeleton cares for, and though he wouldn't wish his problems on anyone, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d have turned out more like Sans. ‘No, no that doesn't matter now.’  He had to make things as right as he could, the relationship he shared with both Classic and Blue would never be the same, he knew that, he had to try for the sake of his family.  But first…

 

Red had clearly come to a understanding of the situation and Fell was brought to full alert as that smaller body relaxed, hands falling from that damaged skull laying gently in his lap between the two of them, sockets opened and head rose to make eye contact; Patently Fell waited as the other regained his nerve.

 

“Boss i… i didn’-… ya knew i-... Fuck!”  This shouldn’t be so hard! He knew that, what was he afraid of, really?, that his brother would end up hating him more than he had while they grew up, that he was terrified Fell would start beating him again?, that he was worried he really was too broken to put up with and Papyrus would leave him for good and they’d never see the other again?... pick any reason they were all right. **_/it’s been so long since he’s harmed you, would he really attack with violence?/_ ** Red's body went stiff for a second in recongition… great, just fuck’n wonderful, their back.  **_/you should be grateful welp, we are the only ones to never truly leave you!/_ **

 

Fells piercing gaze softened; it was truly difficult for either brother to apologize for anything given the background they came from, Fell himself typically refused to ever do so mostly due to the extremely awkward situation it would put him in, but also as to not show incompetence by admitting he was wrong.  “Sans, I will accept your apology; For now, even though you have yet to explain yourself.”  Fells sockets narrowed, knowing the telltale signs of mental instability as his brother was having difficulties trying to focus on the reality before him, not whatever was going through his skull.

 

It went unknown to most, (Except, mabe the brothers from undertale as they have proven to be very observant) that Fell felt awful at how he had treated his brother in the past; And it was obvious to him that most of Red’s problems stemmed from Fell himself.  It had only been a few years since univers hopping became available and Fell had spent that time observing how the others interacted with their respectable siblings, whereas his own spent that time quickly getting attached to the kind and gentle nature of the others, Red had eventually stopped coming back home which forced Fell himself to hop universes to find him.

 

“Now get dressed, you must apologize to your mates.”  Fell gently placed Red back on the tiled floor, righting himself after.  “Stretch came, I presume they are in underswap with him.”

 

Red’s eye lights shot up to Papyrus at the mention of Blues extremely overprotective brother, fear showing in his sockets.  By now the small skeleton was positive Stretch would know what happened- everything he did… yep, he was going to die, again; The other would surely try and more than likely succeed in dusting him for everything he had done to his alternates.

 

Fell eyed his brother easily catching the obvious emotions, and given the recent fiasco he quickly picked up on Red’s train of thought.

A soft growl of frustration brought the elder back to the present again, white eye lights followed his brothers form as the other turned on heel and walked out the door, an almost disappointed whine was choked off when Papyrus disappeared from sight but a few seconds later was replaced with his load voice.  “I will accompany you, if only to make sure you actually apologize.”

 

 

Red blinked his widened sockets, Fell was actually willing to help support him?  **_/aww you're little brother wants to help, you should thank him/_ ** ... even though he really disliked hearing or doing anything they say Red believed this one to be correct.  “Boss… i-”  **_/ya, go ahead, tell him how you feel, just like the little bitch you are/ /you couldn’t even kill him with a maxed out LOVE, what kinda monster are you/ /pathetic whelp, why must you drag everyone down with you/ /we can make you strong again/ /you won’t just be a disappointment if you're strong/_ ** they were all speaking at once, some yelling, some just barely there hushed whispers, together they were muffling out his surroundings. ‘no, i'm worth more than you believe, the others love me, they’ve told me’ he was aware of their tricks, they wanted to drag him back down into the despair and hopelessness.  He didn’t know if it was because he had caved in not long ago, or if his mental defences just weren't up the task but he could feel them crumbling away a faster pace than ever before.

 

No, no he wouldn’t give in, for the sake of his family he couldn’t; he hadden’t wanted to in the first time either but they had convinced his panicked mind that only by gaining more LOVE could he hope to ‘protect’ the souling housed in his ribcage.  With his rational mind and thoughts he could clearly see that was all bullshit. 

 

Gripping the towel around his waist, his sockets slid shut, and slowly he drew in a deep breath doing his best to clear his mind, slowly he released his exhaled while counting to ten… one.. two-“Sans! Hurry the fuck up, I have a prior engagement to get back to!”  To say the shouting startled him was a bit of an understatement, he jumped, literally like a foot off the floor, * _ THUNK*  _ and managed to smack his skull off the edge of the sink, free hand gingerly rubbed at the small fresh crack at the back of his head.

 

“‘k, Boss!”  he yelled while walking out of the bathroom towards his own room, “Be down in a few.” a quick glance over the balcony met the crimson eyed glare of his brother which only made him move all the quicker. Not bothering to close his bedroom door he sorted through the clothing covering his floor, quickly coming up with a simple pair of socks, shorts, and a tank top.

 

Two minutes later Red popped into existence next to his brother fully clothed and ready to go. Glancing up to look at Fell, Red offered up a sheepish smile, yet the way his eye lights shook revealed the true fear he felt.

 

Long talon like clawed fingers gently tapped against the rounder skull of the short skeleton. “Even though I do not want to, if you believe you may have an episode you have my permission to come speak with me, to avoid the problem ending badly.”  Before Red could even think of how to thank Boss for being there that large hand on his head steered him towards the kitchen, out the backdoor, and directly into the shed only stopping to lock the door to the house.

Red froze up while Fell started up the machine putting in the coordinates and coming back to stand by his side. Red however was stuck in a small part of his mind, with them… **_/you going to keep letting him push you around like that?/ /let us help you, we only want what’s best for you/ /how will you protect your family with so little LOVE/_ ** ‘i don't need more LOVE, i don't.’  **_stupid fucking bitch, do as you're told!/_ ** ‘was a mistake listening before’  **_/mistakes happen hun, you have to learn from them/ /screw your brother, how could you not even dust one of those damn lookalikes!/_ ** ‘those ‘lookalikes’ are my family, they are who i choose to be with.’  **_/pathetic piles of dust blowing away in the wind/ /if you had any nerve, they would be/_ ** ‘Those two are my soulmates, I could never dust them!’  **_/why must you tell yourself such lies/_ ** ‘w-what?’  **_/if only they were meant to be you're soulmates, then you were doomed to be alone/ /from the moment you were made/ /we are always here for you/ /we can help you/_ ** ‘d-don’t need you're kinda help’  **_/don’t be stupid/ /you can’t push us away, we’re all you have/_ ** ‘no, i have the others, they love me and care for me and i for them.’

Red felt those sharp talon like claws back on his skull insistently but gently tapping to get his attention, white eye lights blinked hazily, the back of one hand rubbing at his sockets.  After realizing he must have blanked out again Red glanced up at his brother, then following Fells gaze in front of them and Red backed right up into his brother’s legs from the heated glare he was receiving courtesy of Stretch.  Red hadden’t even realized they were already in Underswap.

 

Red looked back to his brother pleadingly while Fell was watching his own double intently, whether it was to protect Red it it came down to it or the fact that Fell had a cute little crush on Stretch, but was at an almost complete disadvantage when it came to courting another monster, after all his younger brother never took night visitors… no, Fell, Fell had forced him.. t-to- ‘Nope, nope not going there right now and hopefully never again. I need to focus.. ok, so should probably hello.’ Reds sharp teeth parted to speak but nothing was heard, white eye lights shifting back to the skeleton in front of them, his clothed spine pressed completely against the long legs behind him.

 

Stretch continued glaring down at the smallest for a few more moments before casually shifting up to meet Fells intense gaze, a soft chuckle escaping his teeth as he caught the way Fells body slightly stiffened when their eye lights met. “Hey Fell.” a simple greeting. “It’s only been like half an hour, ‘kinda wanted a little time for my bro to wake up, he’s been through a lot today and it's not even noon yet.”

Red began wringing his hands together, slowly at first but as he started to settle into panic; knowing full well that he was the cause of any odd behaviour or emotion his lovers may have from here on out… but what about Sans? Stretch hadn’t mentioned anything about the other.

 

Sharp claws tentatively traced the large crack in Red’s skull, taking everything into consideration before speaking. “Now would be a better time than later, my brother must explain himself, before any more problems arise.” as he talked his red eye lights drifted back down to his brother, the smallest of the sans’.

 

Stretch’s now softer gaze was also on Red again as he weighed the pro’s and con’s before the sound of feet shuffling against carpet behind him had the tallest head whipping around fast to catch… his own little brother? “S-sans? hey, you should still be resting up in your room with Classic.” 

 

Blue sleepily shuffled towards his brother, the back of one hand gently rubbing the sleep from his sockets. He found his way to the body in front of him wrapping his arms around Stretches legs. “Mmm ...papy, ‘must of took a nap.”

 

Reds eye lights softened as all three focused on the blue eyed skele. Blue was a sleepy cuddler, always more than happy to snuggle up to his mates before his boundless energy kicked in… ‘Blue had to of been so emotionally exhausted.’ there was no way he would have even considered a nap.  Red wanted to reach out for the other, to say something, he knew anything he could say would immediately get Blue’s attention… but now he didn’t know if he wanted it  **_/he might hate you now/_ ** ‘Blue and Sans both have every right to hate me if they wish.’  **_/it wasn’t that bad/ /stupid bitch, if you would have dusted them we wouldn’t be dealing with this now!/ /it will be ok just talk to him/_ **

 

Suddenly his focus recalibrated as he felt a tight squeezing around his ribs, pinning his arms to his sides. Red’s body went rigid he tried moving a little, to ease his panicking mind, the unnecessary breaths coming in unevenly and out just as shakily, whatever was on him seemed to catch on to his distress as the crushing hold eased till it became a soft touch, a hand to his cheek bone.

 

“Red, Red can you hear me now?” the question came in slowly though almost muddled as if the monster was talking underwater.

 

-his hand was on a sensitive floating rib, his sharp claws leisurely  bending and twisting it, the body he held down under the flowing water flailed, arms and legs moving in panicked motions doing nothing to aid the slightly larger monster in escaping-

 

Red flinched away from the hand, he knew the images he was seeing were from the recent events but that didn’t stop it from feeling real to him in this moment. Two large hands dropped to his shoulders and a firm grip held him in place, to the side of his skull came a deep soothing whisper in what he would say sounded like his brothers voice. “Sans, you are all right, relax.”  **_/ya there's no need to go off half cocked/_ ** ‘what?’  **_/what are you going to do, you can’t protect yourself/ /pathetic waste of magic/_ ** “Red, hey, ya gotta chill out there buddy.” the similarity to his own voice caught him off, ‘ that, that was Classic’, there was no doubt in Red’s mind. Sockets cracked open(when had they even shut?) sure enough Sans was standing right alongside Blue, both in front of him, Stretch was standing behind Blue one hand in his pocket and the other on his brother’s shoulder; the soft scrape of claws against his clavicles had his head tilting up, eye lights caught the fleeting trail of concern that quickly left Fells face.

 

They were all watching him… Red hated being the center of attention, and to make it worse everything that lead up to this exact moment was his fault too. **_/they’ll never forgive you ya know/_ ** he wouldn’t blame them, this whole thing could've been avoided had he been just a little stronger.  **_/no one looked down at you while you dusted them/_ ** no he didn’t want more exp, ‘don’t need it, need to apologize’ Red’s gaze dropped to the ground hands squeezing into fists, he couldn’t keep eye contact with any of them, not when they were watching him with mixed looks of apprehension, concern, and pity.

 

A large cloud of smoke bellowed out into the open air between the five, both Blue and Fell made a noise of irritation as Stretch took another deep drag, snuffing what was left of the spent cig between two fingers before flicking it off into the snow never to be seen again, patting his brother’s shoulder “Alright, enough of all this awkward sh-shtuff, everyone inside.” out of respect for his bro Stretch always tried to watch his language with Blue around.

**Author's Note:**

> ya it is what it is... if your interested, none of my work has a beta n if ya wanna help let me know. as always i have fun writing, criticism is helpful and appreciated, suggestions will be taken into consideration if any are made ^.^


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